singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
So much rum. So many feels.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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