i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Randomize
