I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
