Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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