If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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