I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
