I'm going to jail i love you
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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