Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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