i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
There's even glitter on my cock...
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