dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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