I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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