he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Randomize
