So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
