You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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