I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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