...so i touched it.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
