and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
