So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
