you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
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