I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I am one with the molecules
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
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