is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
