I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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