and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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