he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
