I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
it's like iHOP with fire
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought