Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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