I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.