Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
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he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
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plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.