Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
The 17 Most Horrible Things Said To Online Daters
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.