The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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