I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
