Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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