This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
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