He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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