Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
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