I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
