Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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