You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
