Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
