meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
