it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize