Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
