that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
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