So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Randomize