CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
His hands were made for my vagina.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
