i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
