weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
