arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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