So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
Randomize
