if you like me you must not know who I am
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Randomize
