I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
I wanna passion pit in your ass
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
