am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
