The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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