so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
i believe in u and ur pee
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
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