i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
