I bet he comes in French.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
Randomize
