Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
They should really pass out barf bags in church
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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