id be glad to
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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