when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
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