the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
