I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
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