i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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