I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
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