if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
he thought i was a dude.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
