I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Just puked most of my soul out..
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
