i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
accomplished twins. life is a go
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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