So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.