she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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