Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
