the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position