six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
