I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
Randomize
