This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
